I finished Bike and Build on August 3, 2014 - having ridden 4,220 miles from Florida to California on my bicycle with 31 amazing people. (Author's note: those numbers are actually legit. Oh the irony.) The next day I went skydiving. SKYDIVING! The perfect way to celebrate one of the greatest accomplishments of my life and cap off the seemingly interminable expansion of my comfort zone. But before I even got on the plane I was grounded by my least favorite and most challenging activity: weighing myself on a scale. I do not weigh myself. Ever. It is a process that both terrifies and infuriates me. So as I dutifully stepped on the scale I averted my eyes from the screen to avoid seeing my number, stepped off with a sigh of relief, and claimed my form. As I passed my paperwork to the next employee, I saw it, circled prominently on the front page, glaring at me - each digit wrought with judgement, shame, and disappointment. I didn't much enjoy skydiving.
I reminded myself time and time again that the number meant nothing - that I would have felt just as confident and strong as I did the day before had I never seen the number - that it shouldn't change anything. I thought back on the day before, the pure bliss, excitement, and pride that came from the final pedalstrokes of the physical and mental feat of a lifetime. I remembered all the time I spent challenging my fear of numbers, whether they be calories or pounds, and learning that they don't define me.
Numbers are bullshit.
In our society, we associate weight loss with health, failing to consider that this is a one-dimensional and terribly skewed perspective on wellness. It seems that good health has NOTHING to do with your heart, lungs, mental/emotional/social well-being, or even your damn teeth - but rather, good health is just good aesthetics. I perused the magazine shelves at Barnes and Noble, scanning for titles that included "health" and/or targeted young men and women. EVERY SINGLE MAGAZINE aimed at women had a major headline about "dropping" some exorbitant amount of weight in some absurdly short amount of time. Rapid weight-loss as conducted by the standards of these magazines, is not only ineffective and unsustainable, but resembles extreme dieting which can lead to serious health complications and dangerous behaviors like disordered eating and eating disorders. We (including myself) are so focused on numbers and ideal images that we forget the point of it all, and engage in contradictory behaviors.
Numbers are too hard to encompass all that you are and all that you do. Numbers are inflexible, failing to provide anything more than a regimented and superficial perspective of your "health." Even commonly used measurements, like BMI readings are so simplistic that they often miscategorize people and are used as a shaming technique to push people into weight loss programs. At my current height and weight, I am considered clinically "overweight" on the BMI scale. I feel very little need to defend my body or my physical vitality. I am happy and healthy. I am an athlete - numbers are bullshit.
So what's the solution?
First, educate yourself. Recognize that numbers are bullshit.
Second, smash your scale. Your doctor will weigh you at your yearly check-in, and you don't even have to look at the number. Nor should you.
Third, stop reading magazines that provide arbitrary numbers based on averages and activity levels that have NOTHING to do with you, your life, and your needs.
Fourth, embrace intuition as your guide for food - not numbers. Your hunger and satiety signals are your body's natural "portion control" system. Calorie counting is also bullshit.
Finally, remember that numbers cannot and will not define you. Numbers do not know who you are, what you love to do, how you spend your time or what makes your heart smile. Numbers cannot tell the quality of your character, nor describe your multifaceted intelligence, or the complexities of your thoughts and creativity. Numbers are arbitrary. Numbers are inflexible. Numbers are bullshit.